I couldn’t participate in yesterday’s (18.11.2020) Digital Earth talk with Lukas Likavčan and the fellows, I was busy thinking over layers of subjectivity within a VR experience that is centered around the embodiment of the user, within a black male’s body. Targeted for the privileged white folks, supposedly this VR experience of putting on a headset along with some controls will help with racial bias and make them empathize with people whom they probably see in everyday life.

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Going back to the Zoom discussion, I may have done something slightly unethical just so that I can get my hands (or my virtual ears) on it by asking my brother to log in and screen record the session for me. This confession is in fact extremely unnecessary but I can assure that this thing will stay with me, please don’t sue me. …


In this series of essays I will try the wrap my mind around consciousness (I know right?!), using the perspectives of neurologists, cognitive scientists, neurolinguists and philosophers of today. This does not mean in any way that I’m disregarding the prior work, as the prior work cannot be detached from today’s knowledge and vise versa. Take it with a grain of salt, I don’t know what I’m doing, but then again who does?

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Starting from Antonio Damasio, the Director of the Brain and Creativity Institute at the University of Southern California, LA. Being trained both as a neurologist and a neuroscientist where grand theme of his work can be summarized as the unification of feelings and consciousness¹. …


I do suspect that I have hypomanic episodes. I’m pretty sure I’m in one right now. It’s that you can follow the way your mind moves. Those little hops that happen between ideas or sentences tell you subtly how weird and uncanny they actually are.

I’m not sure if I brought it to myself. I’ve always fantasized about being crazy, from a young age. The thing that made it appealing was lack of responsibility on the things you do. The sheer liberty of being as you wish and people having no choice but to abide to you. The other thing was my assumption that “to be an artist you have to be crazy” taking things into the extremes was the rule of thumb for being and artist. …


Kaçta kalktığımın bir önemi yok, ilk iş camdan dışarı bakıyorum. Gün ağarmamışsa tasalanmama gerek olmuyor ama binaların sırtından sıyrılıp kendini yukarılara taşımışsa güneş, hemen aklım çiçeklerime gidiyor.

Bazen bekledikleri gibi davranmadığım oluyor onlara. Haklarını yemeyeyim iyi dayanıyorlar, zira biliyor musunuz bizim balkon çok rüzgar alıyor, öyle ki bir boğaz sefası çekmek isteyen martılar bile çok durmadan gidiyorlar hemen. Konup etrafı izlemek için harcayacakları enerji değmiyor geçen iki vapur, üç tankeri izlemeye. Arılar uğramaya başladı artık, diyorum “Siz ne yapıyorsunuz bu kadar yükseklerde? Yetmiyor mu yerdeki çiçekler?” Duymuyorlar tabii, ya da duymamazlıktan geliyorlar.

Çapa, tırmık falan hiç elim varmıyor onlara. Zaten nohut konservelerinden devşirme saksılarım da gerek duymuyor öyle alet edevata. Menekşelerim rekabetsizce paylaşıyorlar saksıyı. Hırs bulunmaz bu çiçeklerde, otlar istilacıladır ama. Başı boş bırakırsan hemencecik ele geçirirler varını yoğunu. Bizim İhlas Amca vardı babamın arkadaşı, ne zaman gelse bizim eve tüm gül lokumlarını bitirirdi. Çenesine ve yakasına bulaşmış nişastaya aldırmadan derdi: Boy vermeden vuracaksın asinin boynunu. …

About

Esen Küçüktütüncü

Researcher in affective computing, consciousness and the mind. Also happens to cycle, a lot. www.esenka.co

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